We've all heard the warning about too many adverbs, but they're not always a cardinal writing sin. In our inaugural episode, D.C. and Avery will share a drink and revise an old snippet of Avery's writing with an eye on adverbs. Which ones can stay and which can be tweaked?
Episode 1 Cocktails:
Too Many Adverbs:
1.5 oz Gin ½ oz Elderflower ½ oz Lime ¾ oz Lemon ¾ oz simple syrup Splash of seltzer
Shake all except seltzer with ice, then top with the seltzer.
2.5oz gin 1.5oz lemon 1 oz honey syrup Top with club soda
Excerpts for Episode 1:
The creature’s claws gripped my ankle tightly as I was nearly through the window. It screamed loudly as it gave my leg a violent tug. I fell back jarringly against the outside wall and my leg twisted in the ghoul’s grip. Its deadly-sharp talons tore through my trousers and the light suede boots I wore, to rip open the flesh beneath. My head hit the stone wall hard, and my vision flashed blood red and virulent green with the pain. I cried out harshly in pain and terror, scrabbling against the stone futilely. The creature’s deadly grip on my ankle and leg was the only thing holding me as I dangled precariously upside down, halfway out of the window.
The ghoul clutched my ankle, and gave my leg a violent tug as I scrambled through the window. I tumbled against the outside wall, and the talons tore through my trousers, ripping open the flesh of my twisted leg. My head struck the wall, and my vision flashed crimson. I cried out in pain, scrabbling against the stone to find purchase.