…and it’s writing.

A tipsy discussion of writing craft. Writers D.C. McNaughton and Avery Ames imbibe a few drinks while they review and revise their old (and often cringey) writing. Each episode focuses on a particular aspect of craft and features a themed cocktail pairing.

Ep 001: Holy Adverbs, Batman!

May 29th, 2021

We've all heard the warning about too many adverbs, but they're not always a cardinal writing sin. In our inaugural episode, D.C. and Avery will share a drink and revise an old snippet of Avery's writing with an eye on adverbs. Which ones can stay and which can be tweaked?

Episode 1 Cocktails:

Too Many Adverbs:

1.5 oz Gin
½ oz Elderflower
½ oz Lime
¾ oz Lemon
¾ oz simple syrup
Splash of seltzer

Shake all except seltzer with ice, then top with the seltzer.

Adverbs, Revised:

2.5oz gin
1.5oz lemon
1 oz honey syrup 
Top with club soda

Excerpts for Episode 1:

Before:

The creature’s claws gripped my ankle tightly as I was nearly through the window. It screamed loudly as it gave my leg a violent tug. I fell back jarringly against the outside wall and my leg twisted in the ghoul’s grip. Its deadly-sharp talons tore through my trousers and the light suede boots I wore, to rip open the flesh beneath. My head hit the stone wall hard, and my vision flashed blood red and virulent green with the pain. I cried out harshly in pain and terror, scrabbling against the stone futilely. The creature’s deadly grip on my ankle and leg was the only thing holding me as I dangled precariously upside down, halfway out of the window.

 

After:

The ghoul clutched my ankle, and gave my leg a violent tug as I scrambled through the window. I tumbled against the outside wall, and the talons tore through my trousers, ripping open the flesh of my twisted leg. My head struck the wall, and my vision flashed crimson. I cried out in pain, scrabbling against the stone to find purchase.

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