…and it’s writing.

A tipsy discussion of writing craft. Writers D.C. McNaughton and Avery Ames imbibe a few drinks while they review and revise their old (and often cringey) writing. Each episode focuses on a particular aspect of craft and features a themed cocktail pairing.

Ep 005: Was-ing the Was-es Part 1

July 26th, 2021

Let's get rid of some was-es! In this episode, the task of revising passive voice drives both D.C. and Avery to their editing limits (while sharing a good laugh).

So what is Passive Voice, exactly? When is it bad, and (hot take) when is it sometimes a GOOD thing? We polish up a sample of Avery's old writing on-air to demonstrate.

Books mentioned in this episode:

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

Land of the Beautiful Dead by R. Lee Smith

Story Genius by Lisa Cron

----more----

Before and After Excerpts from Episode 5:

Before:

I cracked open an eye to see that the room was now lit by the rising sun. I rolled over and got out of bed stiffly. My leg was wracked with heat, which worried me. I lifted a hand to brush the earring I wore. A simple silver hoop was graced with three beads in blue, white, and gold. It was worn by all members of the The Order, and it provided immunity from the toxins carried by the walking dead and other unholy creatures. Unfortunately, it was no good against plain old infection. After the salve, though, hopefully the wound would be healed soon enough.

 

After:

The morning sun broke, tearing me from sleep. I winced and rolled out of bed, leg still wracked with heat from the festering wound. Worried, and looking for reassurance, I touched my earring. Good, it’s still there, still can’t become a zombie. Unfortunately, the silver hoop earrings worn by The Order--required to be in Sayara’s blue, white, and gold colors, were no good against plain old infection. No matter. The salve would heal the wound soon enough.

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