…and it’s writing.

A tipsy discussion of writing craft. Writers D.C. McNaughton and Avery Ames imbibe a few drinks while they review and revise their old (and often cringey) writing. Each episode focuses on a particular aspect of craft and features a themed cocktail pairing.

Ep 006: Was-ing the Was-es Part 2

August 9th, 2021

It's aliiiive! In this episode, we discuss how to bring your stale, lifeless writing back from the dead by swapping out the verb "was" for more varied phrasing, and embellish this week's writing snippet with silliness.
Books mentioned in this episode:

The Secret History, Donna Tartt
Angela's Ashes, Frank McCourt
Rosemary and Rue, Seanan McGuire

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Drink Recipe:
The Zombie (recipe by Dale Degroff)

  • 1 oz light rum
  • 1 oz dark rum
  • 1 oz orange curaçao liqueur
  • 1-½ oz passion fruit purée
  • 1-½ oz orange juice
  • ½ oz lemon juice
  • ½ oz lime juice
  • ¼ oz grenadine
  • 2 dashes aromatic bitters
  • Cocktail umbrella and/or various fruits for garnish
  1. Shake all in cocktail shaker with ice
  2. Pour into a tall glass filled with ice
  3. Garnish with fresh fruit, pineapple leaves, and/or a tiki umbrella

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Excerpts:

Before:

He was younger than I thought he’d be, though I couldn’t pinpoint an exact age. Somewhere between around thirty was my best guess. His expression was guarded, and there was a twist to his lip that suggested a joke that only he understood. Not one thread of his clothing was out of place. In the dim restaurant ambience, it was difficult to tell what color his hair was. Dark, though whether it was brown or black I couldn’t say. The one thing that was impossible to ignore was an eerie quality I couldn’t quite pinpoint. 

Word Count : 93
Wases: 10

After:

He was younger than I thought he’d be, though I couldn’t pinpoint an exact age. Somewhere around thirty, maybe. A guarded expression, and a twist of his lip implied a cruel joke only he understood. Not one thread of his clothing was out of place, he wore a monogrammed heirloom watch, a class ring from Grand Dick High School--this guy was the whole enchilada. In the dim restaurant, the color of his hair was vague. Dark, but brown or black I couldn’t say. His lack of eyebrows was entirely off-putting, but his unwavering stare was even moreso. 

He shook my hand, smiled with all his teeth, and said, "Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony, but you can eat as much pie as you want. the Sin of pie is zero. Hi, my name is David.”

Word Count : 139
Wases: 6

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