…and it’s writing.

A tipsy discussion of writing craft. Writers D.C. McNaughton and Avery Ames imbibe a few drinks while they review and revise their old (and often cringey) writing. Each episode focuses on a particular aspect of craft and features a themed cocktail pairing.

Ep 045: Head-hopping & Omniscient POV

June 27th, 2022

In this episode, D.C. and Avery talk about head-hopping and point-of-view breaks, as well as discussing how this relates to writing in omniscient point of view.

We share a few samples of published authors who use head-hopping in omniscient POV, as well as revising a bit of Avery's writing to eliminate POV breaks in a limited POV.

Books mentioned:

  • Little Thieves, by Margaret Owen
  • Tampa, by Alissa Nutting
  • Dune, by Frank Herbert
  • The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien
  • Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen

"Before" Excerpt:

“Are you actually going to talk to me,” I asked, “or are you going to be a baby about it?” It was pride that made Donovan behave this way, so his pride was where I prodded.

“I asked for a Sun Guardian,” he said, anger sparking in him. “If I am going to be forced to have a babysitter. Not a—”

“Not a what?” I asked flatly.

Donovan grimaced, suddenly reluctant to say out loud what he’d been thinking just a moment ago.

I continued. “Go ahead. Say it. I’ve heard it all before. But maybe first you should ask your brother why he hired me.” I pointed at Nicolai.

Embarrassment washed through Nicolai, but he covered it with a disarming smile. “Now, now,” he said, waving his hands in front of him. “Let’s not focus on me, shall we?”

 

"After" Excerpt:

“Are you actually going to talk to me,” I asked, “or are you going to be a baby about it?” Of course Donovan would behave this way, his fat pride and everything, so his pride was where I prodded.

His brow furrowed, and he blushed. “If I am going to be forced to have a babysitter, I’d like a Sun Guardian, not a—”

“Not a what?” I asked flatly.

Donovan grimaced, visibly biting his tongue. His ass noticeably clenched.

I continued. “Go ahead. Say it. I’ve heard it all before. But maybe first you should ask your brother why he hired me.” I pointed at Nicolai.

“Now, now,” Nicolai said, waving his hands in front of him. “Let’s not focus on me, shall we?”

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